It is awards season, after all, and I would like to humbly suggest that the statuette for best new comedy act in Las Vegas should go to (drum roll) (sound of tearing envelope) (pan to close-ups of tight-lipped nominees pretending not to care): US! Yes, that would be our family making their way to the stage to accept the honor. For we bravely traveled where (hopefully) no one has gone before and assembled a group like no other in Las Vegas this past week. Too bad the name Motley Crue is already taken, because it’s probably the best descriptor for the collective chaos that swirled around our entourage.
Too bad, also, that someone already made the film “Nine”, because that could have been a fine mockumentary title for our family disunion – I mean, reunion. Yes, there were nine of us. At shows, at the pool, at and, most definitely at the buffet. Where what happens in Las Vegas does not stay there at all, but attaches itself firmly to the hips and jiggles all the way home with you.
This was a repeat of a visit we made three years to Las Vegas with very nearly the same group: me and the CE, Granny, sister Gail; Uncle Delbert and his able wrangler, Juanita; my father and his wife, Lois, and this trip the lively addition of brother Mark, who traveled all the way from Florida for his first Vegas visit in decades. “Where are the dancing girls?” he asked, marveling at our G-rated approach to Sin City.
Not a dancing girl in sight, but we did take in a number of shows, the far-and-away favorite being the just-opened Cirque du Soleil “Viva Elvis” at the just-opened Aria hotel in the just-opened City Center complex. The best show of all, however, was probably the nightly spectacle of pulling together our group of nine folks, two wheelchairs, escalators, elevators, multiple taxis and an, um, “interesting” array of personalities and getting them all pointed in more or less the same direction.
One award-winning-act took place after our group was dead last to exit the “Lion King” theatre and the CE somehow managed to whisk us, wheelchairs and all, to the front of a serpentine line for taxis where all other action ceased until our VIP group was underway. I guess all that chicken-herding practice finally paid off. Other awards go to Juanita, for managing cantankerous Uncle Del and a gold medal to Mike for courage under fire – he managed to enjoy Vegas in full despite being in the midst of a course in chemotherapy.
Sports bets were made. Slot machines were ring-a-dinging. Manicures for all the ladies. Poker for the CE. Manhattans, martinis, Chardonnay and Cabernet all flowed like the Bellagio fountains, and that Platinum Amex went swipe swipe swipe. An excellent time was had by all, which should win us at least some kind of award. Tune in for the three-peat in 2013