All this talk about gizzards, you’d think I’d have lost my appetite. No such luck. With all my twiddling-thumbs post-dental downtime, I’ve allowed my mind to wander (let’s put that thing on a leash and maybe we could get something done around here!) and one of the places it has traveled is the dining room. Specifically, to conjure up the perfect dinner party guest list. Not the kind where you should be looking for your invitation in the mail, which is lucky for you, since at our table, Dizzy generally claims a seat and not everyone is down with that.
No, the dinner party I pondered was the kind you (or maybe only I) imagine, the virtual gathering that allows you to assemble personages who interest you from afar. Sometimes so far afar that you would have to bring them back from the grave to attend. Here is my most recent list, in no particular rank:
Tori Amos (I would be honored to sit next to the woman who composed the songs “Winter” and “Silent After All These Years”
Warren Buffett (I could use the stock tips, and I like MidWesterners, plus I would really like to understand his affection for Hillary Clinton, which, alas, I do not share)
Willa Cather (two words: My Antonia, and, another Nebraskan to make Warren comfortable)
Johnny Depp (do you even have to ask why?)
Audrey Hepburn (what table would not be improved by her presence?)
Hugh Laurie (ever so clever and self-effacing and oh, that accent. My plan would be to detain him for after-dinner drinks. Hey, the CE has Jennifer Garner on his dinner party list, so I can have Hugh)
Cesar Millan (because he is, quite simply, the MAN. And he might be able to shoo Dizzy off the table.)
Joni Mitchell (some people listened to The Beatles; I listened to Joni and have no regrets. Plus, I think she and Tori could have a nice chat if there wasn’t too much competition for Top Diva)
Susan Orlean (the writer who has an article on chickens in the Sept 28 issue of The New Yorker, which I have not yet received and am DYING to read. She wrote the book The Orchid Thief on which Charlie Kaufman’s film, Adaptation, a fave of mine, was based. Come to think of it, Charlie Kaufman would be a potential guest, but I believe he’s not the most comfortable guy in social situations, so he would probably appreciate the non-invite)
St. Paul (so many questions for him! What was it like that moment on the road to Damascus? What was the thorn in your side? Maybe I could actually ask him to come a bit early and counsel me on faith, since I would be busy after dinner with Hugh).
This group makes a pretty full table, but I would also like to invite the team from DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) who ACTUALLY invented the Internet. It seems a bit murky as to whom, exactly, gets credit for the best/worst invention of the 20th century, but apparently Joseph Licklider and Lawrence Roberts were the lead guys. I’m guessing they might dress funny, so they could sit at their own table. Maybe Charlie Kaufman could come, after all, and sit with them. )
I haven’t decided on the menu yet, so that is yet to come. Suffice it to say, chicken gizzards will NOT be on it.
Who would you invite to dinner? Send me your list and we’ll compare…