Chasing Chickens: Harder than it looks!

If you’re following Polloplayer comments, you know that our friend Emily in Oahu is having a dickens of a time catching Casino. Which makes me wish I had video of the CE and myself the other day when the ladies declined to enter the coop. The CE had raked some new leaves in there for them and they were having nothing to do with those scary mountains that had appeared inside their pen while they were on a walkabout.

We'll just stay out here thank you very much

Here’s the thing: you cannot reason with a chicken. This is not to say they are dumb – I’m sure you know some very smart people with whom you cannot reason, correct? (Let’s not be naming names here!) Once a chicken decides she is not going where you want her to go, you are, for all practical purposes, Out Of Luck.  We looked pretty much like this in our efforts (no need to watch the whole four minutes; she never catches one, but the music is excellent!)

Suffice it to say that there was much work to be done on my subsequent visit to my physical therapist. Herding, chasing, and catching chickens are not recommended for the faint of heart nor for those without a colorful vocabulary to accompany the endeavor. According to the Internet (where everything is always true, of course) the median salary for a Chicken Catcher (yes, it’s a real job, remember that guy from America’s Got Talent?) is right around $40,000 a year. No wonder the CE and I couldn’t catch those girls – we are vastly underpaid! Maybe we need to learn to sing:

Should you ever be faced with the challenge of capturing or holding a chicken, here are the things you need to know:

1. Chickens will do pretty much anything for food. If you have a yummy treat for them, they’ll follow you anywhere. Except maybe for Autumn, who is just plain recalcitrant and there’s nothing to be done but leave her out there to do battle with the hawk.

"Don't worry about me. I could make mincemeat out of that hawk."

2. If you’re ever trying to impress someone while picking up a chicken, remember this: hold the wings down! Otherwise you will be subjected to a whole lot of flapping at the very least and possible abrasions at the worst – those wings can hurt and I say this from personal experience.  But don’t be intimidated, it is mere child’s play:

And why would a chicken not want to be caught? Primarily to evade bad photo ops. If you’re not careful, your owners might start posting pics of you all over the Internet:

Oh, the horror: Luna is caught in mid-toilette. And you thought she managed to look this good just hanging around the coop?

Tis the season for silliness. Good luck getting hold of Casino, Emily!

No, this is not our Christmas card photo - - but it could be!